Empowerment Through Couples Therapy: Unlocking Personal Growth and Relationship Strength

A space to repair, reconnect, and redefine your relationship.

Every relationship holds a private world—shared routines, unspoken expectations, layered emotions. When things begin to unravel, it often doesn’t look dramatic. It looks like distance. Silence. Misunderstood intentions. The same fight on repeat, or the quiet erosion of joy. Over time, couples can develop unhelpful patterns and negative interaction patterns that undermine connection and emotional safety.

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Couples therapy offers a place to pause and step outside the pattern. It’s not about choosing sides. It’s about discovering what’s underneath the tension—what each partner longs for but may no longer know how to express. EFT offers a structured, evidence-based approach for couples seeking to rebuild trust and connection, providing guidance and helping to guide clients through emotional and relational challenges.

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Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), this process begins by rebuilding emotional safety: helping each person access the more vulnerable truths beneath anger, withdrawal, or defensiveness. In therapy, intense emotions and emotional responses are explored and regulated, allowing both partners to work through feelings and emotional experiences as central to healing. When couples learn to recognize and respond to each other’s core emotions, something shifts. The cycle slows. Understanding deepens. The relationship begins to repair itself from the inside. Practice—practicing new ways of communicating and responding to each other—is essential for lasting change. The change process in EFT is guided by three stages and nine steps, supporting couples as they transform their relationship.

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But emotions don’t exist in isolation. That’s why therapy here includes collaborative psychological assessment. These tools are used not to label or diagnose, but to illuminate patterns—attachment styles, communication blocks, coping styles, and the interactions and interaction patterns between partners—that may be hidden even from the couple themselves. Insight becomes a bridge. It brings clarity, compassion, and direction. Understanding attachments and the foundations of attachment theory is central to this therapeutic approach.

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Couples come for many reasons. A rupture in trust. A loss of intimacy. The overwhelming pressures of parenting, or career, or caregiving. Sometimes, it’s the quieter realization that you’re living beside each other rather than with each other. Whatever brings you here, the goal remains the same: not simply to restore what once was, but to build something stronger, more conscious, and more connected. Emotional intimacy is a key goal of the therapeutic process, helping couples dealing with distress, conflict, or disconnection. EFT helps distressed couples and those dealing with old wounds find new solutions for old relationship problems, fostering stronger relationships by building secure attachment and emotional connection.

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The work is deliberate. It requires courage. But it’s also hopeful. With the right support, couples can learn to interrupt old cycles, identify and transform negative patterns and negative interaction patterns, express unmet needs—including their own needs and their partner's needs—and feel known by one another in ways that feel safe and real. Emotionally focused therapy and emotionally focused therapy EFT as a therapeutic approach focuses on emotional bonds, strengthen emotional bonds, and secure attachment, supporting healthy relationships and secure relationships. Relationship therapy with EFT therapists and an EFT therapist is designed to help couples achieve these goals.

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This is the heart of couples therapy: creating a relationship where both people can show up fully—less defended, more open—and grow together, rather than apart. The process emphasizes connections, bonding interactions, and developing emotional intelligence to maintain secure bonds. The importance of the other partner’s experience and mutual understanding is always central. EFT was developed and created by Dr. Sue Johnson, whose book Hold Me Tight highlights the transformative power of this approach. Through guidance, support, and the practice of new interaction patterns, couples can develop stronger, healthier relationships.

Couples Therapy: Frequently Asked Questions

What kinds of issues do couples bring to therapy?

Couples often seek therapy when communication has broken down, emotional connection has weakened, trust has been compromised, or persistent relationship problems have emerged. Some come in the aftermath of a rupture—infidelity, betrayal, or a painful conflict—while others arrive quietly drifting apart, unsure how to reconnect. The bonds that were created at the beginning of the relationship may feel lost, but therapy can help restore them. Common themes include:

• Repetitive or escalating conflict

• Emotional distance or loss of intimacy

• Life transitions (parenthood, relocation, retirement)

• Trust issues or unresolved resentments

• Mismatched needs or goals

• Feeling more like roommates than partners

• Ongoing relationship problems that seem difficult to resolve

Distressed couples, as well as families or family members experiencing strained emotional bonds, can benefit from therapy to rebuild connection and improve communication.

Whether the issues feel urgent or subtle, couples therapy offers a space to explore, understand, and address them.

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What happens in a typical couples therapy session?

Each session is structured but flexible. Early sessions focus on understanding the patterns between you—how you communicate, where you get stuck, and what emotional needs are going unmet. The treatment process in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) involves building emotional intelligence and increasing awareness of emotional responses, helping you recognize and express your feelings more effectively. Over time, sessions begin to shift those dynamics directly. Instead of managing conflict from the surface, therapy goes underneath—into the emotions, fears, and longings that fuel the cycle.

Rather than blame or debate, therapy encourages deeper emotional sharing, active listening, and new responses. It’s a process of slowing down and re-learning how to reach for each other when it matters most, with an emphasis on the practice of new ways of responding to emotional experiences both in session and at home.

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What is Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and why is it used?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or emotionally focused therapy eft, is a widely researched, highly effective model of couples therapy. It’s based on the understanding that emotional safety and attachment are at the core of every lasting relationship, and is supported by a strong evidence base.

EFT focuses on emotional bonds and attachment needs, helping couples identify their interactional patterns and the underlying emotions driving them. Instead of focusing on surface-level disagreements, EFT guides partners to express more vulnerable emotions—like fear, hurt, or longing—and respond to each other with empathy rather than defensiveness. EFT offers a structured, step-by-step approach for couples to rebuild trust and connection. Developed by Sue Johnson, who also authored the influential book 'Hold Me Tight', EFT draws on attachment theory to foster secure attachment in relationships. EFT therapists and each eft therapist are trained and certified by the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT), which is part of a global network of professionals dedicated to promoting standardized EFT practices worldwide.

The result? More secure bonds, better conflict resolution, and a deeper sense of emotional connection.

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How do assessments fit into the couples therapy process?

Collaborative assessment is used as a tool for insight—not judgment. These brief, targeted assessments help clarify each partner’s emotional style, attachment needs, and communication patterns. Assessments help guide clients by providing guidance in understanding their own needs and relationship dynamics. They can:

• Reveal hidden dynamics that are difficult to name in conversation

• Offer a shared language for discussing complex emotional needs

• Support couples in making intentional, informed choices about their relationship

Assessments are integrated into the therapy process only when helpful and always reviewed together. They are used to enhance—not replace—the emotional and relational work at the heart of therapy.

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Do we have to be in crisis to start couples therapy?

Absolutely not. Many couples seek therapy proactively—to strengthen their connection, prepare for life transitions, or simply improve communication before problems escalate. Proactive therapy helps couples build healthy relationships, foster secure relationships, and deepen emotional connections, laying the foundation for lasting love and resilience. Therapy isn’t just for resolving conflict; it’s also for cultivating closeness, resilience, and long-term wellbeing in your relationship.

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What if my partner is unsure about therapy?

It’s common for one partner to feel hesitant. Therapy can feel vulnerable, especially when emotions are high or trust feels shaky. If one of you is more unsure, the process can begin with that concern, while also acknowledging that the other partner may have different emotional responses or concerns. Therapy is not about assigning blame—it’s about building safety for both people, step by step.

Sometimes, just one session is enough to shift the tone and allow both partners to feel more open to the work, while respecting each partner's pace and readiness for therapy.

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Will the therapist take sides?

No. Couples therapy is not about choosing who is right. Therapists use a therapeutic approach grounded in empathy and understanding to support both partners, guiding them through emotional recognition and behavioral change. It’s about understanding what’s happening between you—what drives the conflict, where the disconnection is rooted, and how both partners can contribute to creating change. The focus is on the relationship itself, not on assigning fault.

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Can therapy help us decide whether to stay together?

Yes. For couples at a crossroads, therapy can help clarify what each person wants, what patterns have shaped the relationship, and whether rebuilding is possible or desired. Through the therapeutic process, couples are supported in discovering new solutions to old problems, engaging in a structured change process, and rebuilding emotional bonds that foster trust and intimacy. The goal is never to push one outcome—but to create a space where each partner can speak openly, reflect honestly, and explore options with clarity and care.

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How long does couples therapy typically last?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some couples benefit from short-term treatment, typically involving eight to 20 sessions, focused on a specific issue, while others engage in longer-term therapy to address deeper emotional patterns or longstanding disconnection. Throughout the process, consistent practice of new communication skills and fostering positive bonding interactions are essential for creating lasting change in the relationship.

Most couples begin with weekly sessions and then taper as progress unfolds. Therapy is always collaborative, and pacing is adjusted to fit your needs, goals, and readiness.

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About Cody Thomas Rounds

Cody Thomas Rounds, M.A., is a licensed clinical psychologist based in Burlington, Vermont. As an EFT therapist, Cody works with individuals, couples, families, and family members, offering individual therapy as well as support for strengthening attachments and emotional bonds within family units. With years of experience supporting individuals and couples, Cody is passionate about helping clients navigate personal challenges, build emotional resilience, and foster healthier relationships. Specializing in both individual and couples therapy, Cody’s approach focuses on guiding people through life transitions, managing stress and anxiety, and deepening self-awareness.

Combining professional expertise with a deep understanding of human behavior, Cody is part of a community of therapists trained in evidence-based approaches, providing thoughtful, tailored counseling services to clients in Burlington and the greater Vermont area. Rooted in evidence-based practices, his work emphasizes personal growth, emotional well-being, and creating lasting, positive change.​​