What You Focus On Grows: The Psychology of Attention and Personal Change
- Cody Thomas Rounds
- 11h
- 6 min read
The information in this blog is for educational and entertainment purposes only
Few aphorisms are as ubiquitous in self-development literature as the statement, “What you focus on grows.” It is simple, satisfying, and often cited as a fundamental rule of success. Yet, for many, the phrase feels hollow—a spiritual bromide that rings true in theory but falters in the friction of daily life. When a person is struggling with pervasive doubt, chronic financial strain, or strained family relationships, simply telling them to “focus on the positive” is often met with justifiable cynicism.
The power of this old adage is not found in magical thinking, but in sound psychological and neurological science. The true lesson is not that the universe rewards positive affirmations, but that the human brain, built for efficiency and pattern recognition, fundamentally strengthens the neural pathways it uses most often. Our attention is not merely a passive beam of light illuminating the world; it is an active, selective filter that determines what information we process, what emotions we reinforce, and ultimately, who we become. To understand how personal change happens, we must first understand the fundamental process of how our focus operates. It is an internal conversation that shapes our entire trajectory.
The Science Behind the Maxim: Why Focus on Grows in the Brain
At the most elemental level, the maxim that what you focus on grows is a description of neuroplasticity. The brain develops connections based on experience and repetition. When we focus on a specific piece of information, emotion, or idea, we engage a network of neurons. Each time that network fires—whether we are ruminating over a perceived slight from the past or consciously generating appreciation for a present moment—the connection between those neurons strengthens. This is the essence of how our mindset is physically encoded.
The key to this mechanism lies partially in the Reticular Activating System (RAS), a bundle of nerves in the brainstem that acts as a gatekeeper for sensory information. The world bombards us with more data than we can possibly process, so the brain filters it, prioritizing information that is deemed relevant or important. When a person is suddenly motivated to buy a specific car, they begin to notice that car everywhere; the cars weren't new, but their brain’s filter changed.
In the context of personal development, if a person habitually focuses on what is wrong—the details of a business setback, the expected failure of a new relationship, or the flaws in their own character—the RAS is trained to scan the world for corresponding evidence. It actively leads us to notice more negativity, doubt, and fear. Conversely, when we intentionally focus on gratitude or the small successes, the RAS prioritizes those signals, creating a feedback loop where the brain literally seeks out the evidence to support a more positive attitude. This is the silent, ongoing process that determines our default emotional landscape.
Breaking the Cycle of Negative Energy: Choosing Where to Intentionally Focus
One of the greatest challenges to achieving a shift in life is the gravitational pull of negative energy. Past hurts, unmet expectations, and deep-seated fears naturally demand our attention because, from an evolutionary perspective, they represent threats we must survive. When we spend our mental effort recounting a story of how we were wronged, we are not just replaying a memory; we are reinforcing the accompanying emotions. This rumination keeps us tired and stuck in the negative loop.
The person dealing with deep-seated negativity often finds themselves in a cycle: they feel negative, so they focus on negative inputs, which creates more negativity, reinforcing the original bad mood. To break this cycle, one must intentionally focus the beam of attention away from the problem and toward potential solutions or positive anchors. This is not about forcing a smile; it’s about redirection of effort.
For example, a teen struggling with academic performance might internalize the belief that they are not smart enough. This fear of failure becomes the center of their focus, leading to procrastination and, ironically, more failure. The psychological intervention is not to tell them to be positive, but to intentionally focus on the process of small, manageable tasks. They must remind themselves that their worth is not tied to every outcome, and that learning how to develop a better habit is the only thing that matters in that moment. At PsychAtWork Magazine, we approach personal development through the lens of psychology and lived experience, emphasizing that resilience is less about weathering the storm and more about choosing the internal coordinates you navigate by. By shifting the focus to effort rather than outcome, the brain stops reinforcing the panic and begins to reinforce the habit of work hard.
The Echo Chamber of Relationship: What You Focus On Grows in Family Members and Friends
The power of attention extends beyond our individual mindset; it profoundly shapes our social environment, particularly our closest relationships. The maxim “what you focus on grows” operates powerfully in relationships with friends and family members, essentially turning our attention into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Consider the relationship between family members. If a person, through a strained history, has developed a belief that a certain person is unreliable or always intends to pick a fight, their attention will be hyper-focused on scanning that person’s conversation and actions for confirming evidence. The tiny detail—a slightly clipped word, a late return of a phone call, or a critical comment—is amplified and interpreted through the lens of betrayal. The focus on perceived flaws or wrongdoings grows, leading to an atmosphere of suspicion and distance.
Conversely, when partners or friends consciously practice appreciation and focus on the small ways the other person contributes to the life or success of the whole, those positive attributes grow in perceived significance. This shift changes not only how we feel, but how we behave. When we approach a person with an attitude of gratitude, we change the energy of the conversation, which in turn elicits a more positive response from the person. This pattern strengthens the positive circuit in the relationship, making the relationship itself feel safer and more rewarding. This process applies to every dimension of our world—our health, our professional motivation, and even how we use tools like vision boards; their power is in making us consciously engage with future ideas and intentions, not in magically attracting money or opportunity. While some motivational speakers, such as Robin Sharma, popularize the idea, the underlying mechanism is always rooted in the science of attention.
A Real Talk About the Process
It is important to emphasize that recognizing that what you focus on grows is not a one-time mental shift; it is a conscious, continuous process. It is about acknowledging the inevitable presence of doubt and fear—they are part of life—but choosing where to dedicate the majority of one’s limited mental energy.
To honestly create a life defined by positive intentions requires more than positive thinking. It demands awareness. It requires catching the brain when it’s automatically spiraling into past hurts or future anxieties and deliberately redirecting that focus to a relevant, constructive activity in the present moment. This deliberate work is the key to personal change, turning a simple maxim into a powerful psychological tool for growth.
Additional Resources
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